NEXT MISSION=ah whenever.

Ok people, I’m going to let you in on the big secret of our clan. We ain’t no God damn stupid ass Quake clan! We are more of a gang. We plan out and execute missions. Anyone pisses us off we do a little deed to their house. Eggs, teepee, superglue, busy boxes, large amounts of fireworks, you name it and we will probably or already have done it. We have many enemies in our school, therefor we make many missions. It’s sort of a night time tradition for us.

Download CORRIDOR.MAP. It’s a very close replica of the mission sites. But we have never seen the inside of the house… so we just guessed. It’s also cut off where the area isn’t important (you know, I didn’t want to put in all of the neighborhood).

The mission has been done. And the rebels… once again… emerged victorious. Vee falking blew de sheeeit outta losse stoof!

As for the next mission, we haven’t decided what to do or where to do it. I had some thoughts about hiding in some large bushes or trees and shooting stuff. Or maybe some more aerial attacks. But we need to go up to Wyoming and load up on that stuff. We are running low. Plus we just got our pay checks… they aren’t big… but they can cover quite a bit of shit. We still need to get the fuses too. So far, the next mission will probably be in July sometime. But we AIN’T SURE.


Awww yeya. This mission was so fucking fun man. Ok, first of all, my dad was the only parent home, so it was much easier getting out. But still hard since all these rocks in my backyard make so much noise. Plus the neighbor’s faulting dog barking its faulting head off. First we went through the corridor… going through some very tall grass fields… not as tall as the ones in Lost World, but close. Felt kind of cool. Then we setup the strip of 1152 firecrackers. Using 2 cigarettes as starting fuses, we had plenty of time to spare. We also had a nice little crackling fountain hooked up to the fuses too. After a few minutes of setting up, we lit it and went over and hid in on top of this big cement pipe going under a street. We were on the side of a hill so we hid in the grass. There was also a full moon that night and not a foaming cloud in the sky. So it was like noon on the equator when we were out in the open. But black clothing and tall grass sure helps. After about 5 minutes (forever) it began. Beforehand we watched as some lights in the Target’s house went on… then off. Maybe the bastard heard something. But when the strip started, he turned his bedroom lights off. The strip lasted for about 30 seconds… we think… it was very fucking long. Almost all of it went off, loud and bright. Everything worked exactly how we wanted it to. After about 15 minutes we started down the bike trail to the next target. The first target’s lights were on again in the bedroom, but we think we got away undetected. While we were walking to the next target, we shot some stuff. Heh, VoDkA brought his sawed-off BB gun and a few BB’s too. So we loaded it, pumped it, and fired off a few shots at some houses and tress and stuff. We probably didn’t do any damage to any houses, but we aren’t sure. The gun was not loud at all, which was very good. At the next target, we setup the saturn missile battery and the rockets. These both have fuses 2-3 feet long. I lit them as VoDkA and KiBBz were over hiding in the shadows. Luckily there were some trees and stuff at the 2nd target so we could hide pretty good. Anyway, I lit and went over to the others. We watched as the fuses burned and burned… then the rockets went off. It was pretty nice, not so much meant as a prank, but more as a nice little fireworks show. They made some noise but nothing to shit your pants about. But the battery didn’t work. So I went back, checked it out, and the fuse had burned down to about 2 inches. So I just said up yours baby and lit it. Right as I made it to the others it went off. It was pretty quick and loud too. Since the missiles are whistlers they probably woke up a few residents. YEY. Then we started heading up to this construction site. It’s right on the side of a kind of busy road but before the houses. We dodged a few cars, messed around at the site. And we also swiped some signs from this fence that was put up around the soon-to-be-foundation of whatever is being built. The signs read “RENT-A-FENCE” and had some 1-800-number on them. So we got some very nice souvenirs from that place. Then, as KiBBz and VoDkA were down in the foundation hole and I was up on top, a cop drove by. We had enough time to see it, take cover and watch it go by, so it didn’t get us by surprise. But once we saw it was a cop we decided it was time to LEAVE. He didn’t stop, he drove right by, but shit he might have been looking for us. So we got out of the fence, grabbed our signs and went into the neighborhood again. We didn’t have that much trouble getting back home, just some dogs and shit. Once we got in, we were tired as a priest after a 5 hour orgy. The total mission took about 3 hours. We left around 12:30 and got back around 3-3:30. We aren’t very sure, but it lasted a while. And damn it, it was well worth it. We needed that mission too. We were all pretty tired of waiting and our nerves were just about shot. So it was pretty relaxing to be free like that.

This mission was one of the best we ever did. This was from KiBBz’s house to several locations in his neighborhood. That night was probably the longest walk we ever did. First, we went to this soccer field/playground. It was right on the corner of a very busy intersection, so every minute we had cars going by. There was a lot of moonlight that night. We got to the playground and dodged the lights of cars for about 20 minutes. Then we decided what our first strike would be like. We got a big McD’s cup and went to center field of the soccer field. We got out about 20 bottle rockets that were stripped together, and a 100-something strip of black cats. Each had very good and long fuses so we had lots of time. We lit them, and ran over and got in front of these big pine trees. We were totally out of vision. The rockets went off first. They launched out over the field and then the strip went off. After that we started going back the way we came, which went through this trail about 35 yards wide with houses on either side. We found this large metal tub, perfect for firecrackers! We decided that KiBBz and VoDkA would walk off toward the street on the other side of the trail and hide behind some trees while I lit it. Except… the street was over 100 yards away. And they were about 15 yards past it. Once they signaled me, I lit the small assortment of thunder bombs and about 50 stickless bottle rockets – they would only make sound, no visual effects. But anyway, I lit, and sprinted the whole fucking way. About 3/4th’s the way the fireworks went off right in the middle of this big ass trail. I never ran so fast in all the missions. But I made it to the others and watched all these lights go on from the houses. Then we walked over to this big open hill between some houses and a busy street. We got a long wooden board and placed it on the hill. We had a long strip of about 200 and a little brick of about 3 packs of thunder bombs. This time was used a cigarette fuse, we only needed about an inch of it. We lit the cigarette and went over to hide behind some trees. When it went off, it was VERY loud where we were, so we bolted out of there. After a few minutes we went back to see if all the stuff had gone off and it all did. So we got some souvenirs and went home. Drank some Aftershock that night too. We were supposed to have a few chicks come with us but they couldn’t make it… so maybe next time.

This mission was freaking unique. The mission was from my house (REB), through the corridor, and to the place where we do all of our fireworks. It was supposed to be like the other missions to this place. The weather was nice. We had 4 items made up and ready for use. The first fuse didn’t work. The second fuse malfunctioned also. Both of those items were just about 100-120 thunder bombs stripped together. We had one more like the first 2 and we also had a little contraption of bottle rockets. These bottle rockets were stripped together and put into a bottle. We placed this bottle on top of a large hill, so quite a few people could see. After about the 3rd try, I decided to just light the fuses that were directly from the rockets. Usually we use long fuses so we have time to get away. But this time, with VoDkA and KiBBz standing over in front of some big ass shrubbery, I just did the direct fuse. After lighting it I ran like a son of a bitch to VoDkA and KiBBz. By the time I made it to them the rockets were starting to go off. We had about 50 in the assortment, so it lasted a while. It was rather pretty. Then we busted the bottle and went BACK to the 2 strips that didn’t work. They both had rather crappy quality fuses so they went out before they reached their target. I took the last one, tied the remainder of the first 2 fuses to it, and lit it for the final fucking time. Since I am the fastest in the group, I usually light the fuses and KiBBz would be at the point where we stop running. VoDkA would keep guard while I light. This time both of them went over and laid down on the side of this hill about 100 yards away. This would be the first time we have ever seen our own work in action. All the other times we just heard them. I lit it, ran to the hill, and watched the lovely ass fireworks go off. They lasted about 45 seconds - a total of around 400 went off. Dogs were barking and everything. It was really cool to see them all too. After that we went to this point in the trails that looked like the Q from Quake. We smoked some cigars and headed home. Except… when we were a few blocks away from home, we had an incident. We were walking along the sidewalk when a fucking garage door opened at the house that we were right by. We bolted into that person’s yard… and ducked down and tried to be as quiet as possible. This adult came out, got his newspaper (it was about 4:30 in the AM) and went back in. I tried to signal VoDkA and KiBBz but they didn’t see me. We waited… a few minutes later the man got in his car and started down his driveway. The flood of lights from his car just covered us. He stopped, got out, and yelled “Who are you?” We got up, said we were just passing through and stuff and he kept saying “Get out of here”, “I’ll call the cops”, and “Who are you?” - We fucking hauled assholes and elbows home. This mission was also liquor free as a result of this person named Brooks Brown (303) 972-0602 who tried to narc on us - telling my parents that I had booze and shit in my room. I had to ditch every bottle. I had to lie like a fucking salesman to my parents. All because Brooks Brown thought I put a little nick in his windshield from a snowball… Bullshit? Yes. Anyway, that was mission 4.

This mission was an attack on the people who shot VoDkA’s bike, and on some random houses. First, after sneaking out of my house at around 1:55, we lit off 1 strand of 200 thunder bombs and 6 bottle rockets. We had also set a time delayed assortment too. This was made of 10 bottle rockets and a few crackling balls. We aren’t really sure if those went off though because by the time they would have we were a mile away. After the fireworks we went over to this asshole’s house. His name is Brooks Brown, phone number (303) 972-0602, address is 8003 South Vance Street, if any of you feel pranking him. Anyway, we didn’t really do much to him. Just put some model putty on his Mercury [car]. Then we went to another kid’s house and started to teepee his big, tall, thick, thorny-ass tree. We set off the motion detectors about 4 times and we dodged 1. But we didn’t get caught! His tree was completely covered and wrapped in ass wiping paper. Even though we only had 4 rolls, we did one hell of a good job. After that we moved some rather large rocks onto people’s driveways and tagged RC [Rebel Clan] into a fence. Then we came home and got drunk while watching Bordello of Blood.

Our second mission was against this complete and utter fag’s house [Nicholas Baumgart]. Everyone in our school hates this immature little weakling. So we decided to “hit” his house. On Friday night (2/7/97) at about 12:15 AM we arrived at this queer’s house. Fully equipped with 3 eggs, 2 rolls of toilet paper, the cheap brand with no pretty flowers (we were disappointed too), superglue, and the proper tools to make his phone box a busy box (for those of you that are stupid, a busy box is where you set their box so that when they try to make a call, they get a busy signal and when someone else calls, they get a busy signal too). We placed 2 eggs in his very large, thick bushes. We just barely cracked them open so they will be producing a rather repulsive and extremely BAD odor for some time. We placed the last egg on his “welcome” mat. It was very neat. I cracked the egg, put the yoke in the center, and the 2 halves on either side of the yoke. Then we teepeed his large pine tree and this… oak? tree - I don’t know, it’s big though. It wasn’t a complete teepee but it was enough to agitate the home owner greatly. We also put the superglue on the front door and on the little red mail box flag.

The first was when we put an entire assortment of very loud fireworks in a tunnel, and lit them off at about 1:00 AM. This mission was part of a rebellion against these assholes that shot one of our bikes one day. They were rather angry that night, and we were very happy. We will be doing another hit on their house sometime in the near future. And that one will be much closer, and louder.

After each mission we get drunk. Not with wimpy beer, we only use hard liquor: Aftershock, Irish Cream, Tequila, Vodka, Whiskey, Rum, and sometimes a few shots of EVERCLEAR. We also sometimes make up our own shooters. And sample others (never try a prairie fire, its killer!) In our next few missions, we are planning to hit the dork’s house a few more times, along with a few other houses. And also set off some more fireworks at that tunnel. We each have a large supply of fireworks… loud ones. And soon I will have my license and we can drive around any place we want to, heh heh. Soon I will be putting our directions for mixing drinks that we make up. We will put up any good shooter or other drink that we try. So check this place out often.





Meddle15 -- Quake Editor



This page was written by REB

    REB         VoDkA         KiBBz